Ani Lin: the journey of a Chinese Buddhist nun
A Verse Novel
Author: Pip Griffin
Photgraph of the Himalayas by SupriyaTilak
If you are interested in purchasing a copy of the poem please contact the author, Pip Griffin, at pip.griffin@bigpond.com
Copyright for the poem vests with Pip Griffin
1. Coming home from the market – Yunnan Province
I ride my bicycle
on the bumpy road
through hazy landscape
patchwork gardens illuminated
by the setting sun
stacked mountains layered
against orange sky
I’ve sold the cabbages
for my mother and
the lightness of the hessian bags
feels like freedom
words crowd my head
the countryside will be my poem
silhouettes of trees
like dragons
and other spirits of the twilight
cast their shadows
on the luminescent stream
not frightening but accompanying me
am I the only living person
on this country road?
I pedal into my future
the evening is my friend
the landscape speaks to me.
2. Last night at home
In our thatched house
near the river
the swish of bamboo calms me
Mother helps me to prepare:
her youngest daughter
given to the Buddha
my destiny
my choice
we gather some
of my possessions
my precious bamboo flute
is wrapped in silk
my sisters give me
sweet buns and
sesame seeds
Mother says:
Your father’s wish is now fulfilled –
were he alive, he would
counsel you
in humility and
growing into wisdom
she hands me her love
to carry with me.
3. Going to Fanchu Si
In chill of early morning
I leave the house
and climb the mountain to the nunnery
past juniper and birch
chrysanthemum and rhododendron
stream and flowing waterfall
where long in my imagination
I have meditated
played flute
and written poetry
far below
the river’s a green serpent
my little house just visible
the mountains
thrust through mist
into this new day
at the great door
I am greeted by
a shaved-headed nun
with tranquil eyes
who shows me to the dormitory
I place the things I’ve brought
then join the others
for meditation.
4. In the Chanting Room
Accompanied by bells
our voices float
like lotus flowers
we ask Lord Buddha
to bless this day –
to ease the suffering
of all beings
I feel the agony
of my father’s long illness
my country’s suffering
under selfish war lords
women with bound feet
poverty
injustice
wrongful deaths
this ancient building
holds the strength
and wisdom
of generations –
their striving to end pain
I have come home.
12. Becoming a teacher of girls
Seeking audience once more
with Reverend Mother
I tell her what I saw
My dear, your Path is clear.
She who hears
the cries of the world
has spoken.
Yet we must use discretion.
Most Venerable Master Tsang Lu
is kind. He may turn his unseeing
eye in your direction.
when leaves turn red
as the October sunrise
certain village women
bring their daughters
Reverend Mother tells them:
Lin will guide your children
to wisdom and compassion.
Kuan Yin smiles upon them.
she places sacred sutras* *prayers
inscribed on scrolls
into my hands
my spirit soars
to know Lord Buddha
trusts me with his
sacred work
I have five girls to teach
in a tiny prayer room
we sit at wooden desks
reciting sutras
copying texts
with brushes
and jet ink
considering
the Six Elements
earth water
fire air
consciousness
space
breathing in suffering
breathing out joy
when first snow
dusts the camellia bushes
I ask each girl
to look into her future
Ning,* gentle as a baby deer *Tranquil
but strong of spirit
would heal the sick
compassion shines
in Ju-an* and Ming Yue** *Gracious **Bright Moon
they would become nuns
Chang* with scholar’s *Free
sapphire mind
fears no one
the fifth, Fang Yin* *Fragrant Carpet
sings like a piccolo
she dreams of study with
the Opera Company
in Chengdu
I tell them:
Contemplate
the deep
mysteriousness of life.
Understand
the Noble Truth:
life’s suffering continues
if we crave the unattainable.
Concentrating
on the now
brings happiness and calm,
freeing us
to help others.
I pray daily to Kuan Yin
see her sweet face
in my dreams
feel her serenity
as I teach
the quickness
and devotion of my pupils
allow them to accomplish in a year
what would take others three
as their worlds are opening
like peach blossom buds
in spring
word comes
our Master Lu is dead
the new Abbot
does not have
an unseeing eye
I tell my class:
Remember our Lord Buddha said
that nothing lasts forever.
Daughters, you are on the Way.
Ride high on Knowledge
as Buddha rode his elephant.
Chang, help your sisters.
Kuan Yin walks with you
on the Path of love.
Live carefully.
I see my gift to them
in how they hold themselves
and in their shining eyes.
13. Leaving the Nunnery
When crickets sing
in summer grass
Kuan Yin’s magic
once again transcends
stories of my teaching
have travelled far
with caravans that follow
three great rivers
on the Horse Tea Road* *Chinese tea was traded for Tibetan horses
a group of village women
in Tibet
have sent messages
with trusted traders
they ask that I may go to them
they’ll send a lama
to accompany me
the journey will take months
by foot, horse, yak
Lijiang
Gyalthang
Deqen
Kha-wa-kar-po* *White Pillar Snow Mountain
Do-kar-la* *White Stone Pass
white marble cliffs
paths one man’s width
rocks that can kill
cascades
rapids
fantastic gorges high
as a hundred men
they say we must cross
seventy mountains
rivers fifty times
horse and man will
fly on cables
tremble on rope bridges
cling to rafts
in water white and treacherous
climb where eagles fly
and vultures wait
for carrion
the Buddha calls me
to the Land of Snows
he’ll keep me safe
through land both terrible
and beautiful
Reverend Mother
grants permission
for my journey
though she worries
for my safety
she knows that
I am needed there
during the waiting months
I try to learn Tibetan words
meditate upon my calling
on mornings when I wake
with pounding heart
Kuan Yin’s soft fingers reach
to touch my own
she whispers
Daughter, this journey
is only the beginning
of what you have to give…
her words release me
to conjure a young monk-guide
of direct gaze
who’s capable
loyal
brave
our thoughts as one
in Buddha piety
and now
I go to Reverend Mother
for the last time
she gives me
precious texts on
scrolls of silk
Lord Buddha’s words
will guide you
and the girls
that you will teach.
Dear Mother
I will guard them
with my life
it’s time to put my things in order
farewell the garden
and my sister nuns
Lui-Chin and Chu-Hua
stand with me
as I await my guide.
24. Crossing Do-kar-la
The town of Deqen
sprawls in clouds
in a valley
of the Langcang Jiang* *Mekong River
some houses have grass roofs
white or red brick walls
others are of wood
their beams carved Tibetan style
in colours bright
as Pure Land rainbows
yaks wander free
bells sound as
children herd their
sheep and long-haired goats
they smile at me
ten monasteries
with scalloped roofs
grace this mountain gateway
floating in sacred clouds
so close to Heaven
we lodge with monks
I play my flute
talk meditate rest pray
thank Kuan Yin* for *Kuan Yin
our passage safe this far
make a mind picture
of our journey’s end:
the village women happy
with my teaching
the girls I’ll help
straight, strong, brave
tall as golden barley
Lobsang goes early
to the marketplace
to trade our mule
returns leading a strong yak
with practised hoofs
deep purple plumage
adorns his horns
his name is Sendong
I pat black matted hide
notice his strong yak smell
tell him:
I like the fine white ring of hair
upon your forehead!
we load his saddle bags
with yak butter tea
tsampa* dried apricots *barley flour
our scant belongings
the monks cry Kale pheb* *go slow!
they know well these mountains
- do kora* once a year *circumambulation of the sacred peak
My children, be alert for
evil mountain spirits
who would drag you
to your death
and drain your blood.
Keep Buddha in your hearts.
Your crossing will take
three days, three nights.
Each day we’ll pray for safe traverse.
with parts of the track
but one-yak wide
we fear landslides
rocks falling from above
walls made of mani stones
stand in silent supplication
against misfortune
in one wild gorge
we see carved into rocks
Bodhisattvas lamas deities
we descend to where
the Horse Tea Road
stops at Lancang Jiang
raging through its banks
bridged by fir-tree trunks
anchored only by huge boulders
Lobsang! I cannot cross this bridge!
So high! So narrow!
It has no sides!
Lin, trust me –
look to the Heavens!
clutching my shoulder bag
to stop my shaking
I look up to where
Kha-wa-kar-po towers
see mass of glacier
hear thunder of a waterfall
Sendong’s eyes show
white with fear
as Lobsang pulls his rope
I reach to touch the yak
we inch across
Lobsang offers a steady hand
his smile
his words: You are indeed a brave nun, Lin
we press on, on and up
though struggling warmth
of spring has melted
worst of winter ice
our feet are frozen
in our fur-lined boots
our faces burnt by snow, sun
swirled in fog
heads ache
we gulp thin air
see the eye of Heaven
hear spirits singing
find shelter in a cave
Lobsang lays goatskin mats
upon its floor
lights a small fire to make our tea
he gently rubs
salve made with herbs
into my chilblained feet
I order my surprised heart
to slow its beat
no man has touched
me since my father died
Sendong strains
at his rope
Lobsang! Two eyes
are glowing in the dark!
Don’t be afraid, Lin
a snow leopard
just passed us by –
the gods are with us
two passing pilgrims
man and wife
ask to share our cave
they have come from Gyalthang
to do the kora* *circumambulation of the sacred peak
their names are Kumphel
Mema
woven cloaks striped orange
red and white
cover their shoulder baskets
and ragged clothes
their only ornament the orange beads
round Mema’s neck
when Kumphel smiles
his mouth shows
only two front teeth
both carry staffs
and sorrow on their faces
Our eldest son, a ferry man
for ten years on Giamo-nu-chu* *Salween River/ Nu Jiang
has drowned.
We have displeased the gods
they will do the kora
to build up merit
with the Buddha
and appease their gods
They ask Lobsang
to perform a mo* *shamanistic rite
he takes sacred beads
between thumb
and middle finger
presses them against
his forehead
then on his lap
counts from each side
until but one remains
It is good, he says.
Your son will go
to the Pure Land.
I ask Kuan Yin
to show this family
mercy
in bone-snapping cold
Lobsang leads us in
thumo reskiang* *self heating
his mind’s eye
builds a fire
around our bodies
soon I am warm
enough to sleep
in morning’s sun
I pick two small pink orchids
place them in
the pilgrims’ hair
Goodbye, my friends.
Kuan Yin is happy
that you do this kora.
Your son will live
in the Pure Land
for five whole days
they’ll ‘measure ground’* *prostrate the body along its length
around the sacred mountain
I look to Padma-shan* *Lotus Mt
Kha-wa-kar-po’s close companion
for comfort as we begin
the long haul through the pass
prayer flags of yellow green
red white blue
leap wildly in the wind
Lobsang says they represent
the earth the water fire
the clouds the sky
as we descend the narrow path
Sendong stumbles on icy rocks
one hoof begins to slide
my heart jumps to my mouth
with strength not of this world
Lobsang holds fast
pulls him to safety
the mountain demons will not
feast today
Lha gyalo! De tamcha pham! * *The gods win! The demons are defeated!
thanking Buddha
we slip and slide
to where Giamo-nu-chu
its emerald waters edged with ice
flows between steep cliffs
we must cross
by twisted bamboo rope
flimsy as spiders’ webs
stretched between the banks
the ferryman waves to us
across wild waters
Oh Buddha
send us strength!
Lobsang ties me
in rough strap harness
hooks me on
tow-rope pulls taut
my hands cramp on the straps
Lobsang signals the ferryman
above, pulley squeals
below, water boils
Lobsang shouts:
Lin, don’t look down!
Hold on!
as I swing towards grey sky
mid-river, harness
sways in rush of
sudden wind
tow-rope’s adrift!
below, the river churns
on rocks the size
of elephants
wild horses gallop
in my chest
Kuan Yin! If I am but
of small worthiness,
help me now!
Hold tight! shouts Lobsang
brown robes buffeting his form
the ferryman
crabs along the rocking cable
repairs the tow-rope
muscled legs
holding him mid-air
crawls back
to pull me to the other bank
next Sendong swings
then his big load
it’s Lobsang’s turn
I hide my face
until his feet touch land
Kuan Yin’s mercy shown
the Path is clear
the Way unfolds.
Chapters for the full poem
1. Coming home from the market
2. Last night at home
3. Going to Fanchu Si
4. In the chanting room
5. Life in the nunnery
6. An audience with the Abbess
7. Awakening
8. Shi
9. Final preparation for ordination
10. Ordination
11. A vision of Kuan Yin
12. Becoming a teacher of girls
13. Leaving the nunnery
14. The road to Lijiang
15. Lijiang (Beautiful River)
16. Staying in Lijiang
17. Visiting the Mu household
18. Dance of the Dongba
19. The women from Lake Lugu
20. Travelling to the Country of Daughters
21. The courtship dance
22. The lover’s song
23. Travelling the Horse Tea Road
24. Crossing Do-kar-la
25. The border hut
26. On the way to Lhasa (Place of the Gods)
27. Entering Lhasa
28. The Bhakor
29. Visiting Jokhang Temple
30. Visiting Ramoche Monastery
31. An Audience with the Dalai Lama
32. Leaving Lhasa
33. Sky burial
34. Staying with nomads
35. A riding contest
36. Lake Namtso (Sky Lake)
37. Climbing Tashi Do Chung
38. Lhato village
39. Teaching
40. Lin and the Rinpoche talk about Pema
41. Pema is allowed to become a novice
42. Lin sees her mother while meditating
43. Lobsang goes to war
44. Attachment
45. Lin’s poems
46. Lin daydreams
47. Pema reveals esoteric knowledge
48. Pema is to go far away
49. Lin and Pema flee Lhato
50. Return to Fanchu Si
51. Pema’s song of the return
52. A beginning
53. Lin’s poem for Lobsang
Epilogue
Afterword
Timeline
Purchase a copy
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If you are interested in purchasing a copy of the poem please contact the author, Pip Griffin, at pip.griffin@bigpond.com
OR
GleeBooks
Glebe NSW 2037 AUSTRALIA
books@gleebooks.com.au
ph + 61 2 9660 2333
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